Fair Warning: this post may not appeal to anyone but me..but I've determined that this spot is a great place to spill you're heart when you have no one to tell something to that would understand.


I have come to the conclusion that the people that are in your life are there for one reason or another...I have also concluded that some of those peolple are there just to wreak havoc in said life. Others, the kind I prefer, to balance you, love you, keep you on your toes and always be there for you. I am no saint. I have made mistakes and old habits die hard. But I cannot, for one second, understand why I keep putting myself into a position that I damn well know is no good. Reconnecting with people has just been x'd off my "resolutions" with a big fat sharpie. This brings me back to my point that are some people that are destructive in one's life.

To you-
You are a freaking rock I keep tripping over every couple of months I just want to kick across the road and keep walking!! Where the he'll do you hide and how do you know exactly where to find me and know the most inopputune times to show up?! It's unfair. You're not the only one to blame of course. I allowed it. I continue to allow it. I will no longer allow it.

And to you-
I love you. I meant it a year ago and I mean it today. Get over it. My growl is worse than my bite. I'm not going anywhere.

And of course you-
You are incredible. You'll never know how you've boosted my self esteem and make me feel beautiful every day.

Wow, those last two made me relax even though I just set a bridge on fire. It actually feels good.

I spoke too soon...the flood gates have just been opened.

Hello Monday.

It's actually a very beautiful day today and I am grateful. I just wish I would have woken up a bit earlier this morning. 

My lovely friend introduced me to the newest radio station in the Tulsa area - 106.1 GenX. Let me just tell you, this radio station will not only bring a flood of memories back to you but will definitely make you want to track down your jean jackets! Nothing but 90's music 24/7? I can deal with that!

This weekend Austin and I went to Big Lots on Memorial and found a 6 pack of "Tiger Focus" Gatorade on sale for $2. Since we both love Gatorade we bought it and laughed because it was Tigers' and that it was only $2. As I sit at work today looking at this bottle, the irony of two more things has made me laugh... the flavor is "Quiet Storm" and the best is that it expired Dec. 22 2009. *sigh*

Okay - Onto a more serious issue. A granddaughter of some members at my church has been battling cancer for a very long time. Her name is Abby Riggs. Please keep her in your prayers. I know she's been a big part of mine for awhile now.

Now I am going to try and figure out how to make my page more personal. Any helpful tips would be much appreciated! 

Hello.
*cough*

Who knew I would be at a loss for words starting my very first blog. Yes, I said it, my very FIRST blog. I figured since the ripe old age of 25 is knocking on my door and here we are, 2010 I thought what a better time to start a blog. Right? Well, whatever my reasonings or lack there of, I'm here.

I just heard that snow/ice is moving it's way back towards Tulsa. That's okay, i'm going to embrace it this time, it's not like I can personally do anything about it.

I have a lot of ideas today, my head is one big canvas and i'm ready to start painting on it...it's been long enough but I believe today is the day I put on my big girl panties, peel off the fake smile and replace it with a real one, stop being so anti-social...more like anti-people and start walking towards the goals that I see.

.::My goals for 2010::.
go back to school and study art history.
eat healthier.
tell the loves of my life, daily, that i love them.
become more active in my community.
stop being anti-social.
start living.
paint more.
travel.
read more.
send members of my family that i don't speak with regularly a letter.
trust in trusting.
start or begin to start my own business.
re-connect with my very best friends.
make a new friend every month.
buy a new car.
embrace the people i have been trying so hard to avoid.

I'm sure there are more things I need/want to add to that list. As I have created this list, I already know the name of "my business" and tomorrow I am going to find out my options for going back to school. There are tons of people I would like to thank for this burst of inspiration - My dad, a co-worker that is still in higschool that has a lot of drive and asks me reguarly what my goals are, My brothers for asking me why I stopped going to college and a few other people that are very close to my heart that understand where I am in this crazy world and have never given up hope in me. I love you all.

.::.